I stood there helplessly as I watched the young girl kicking, screaming, and rolling around on her living room floor. She was in pain. That was certain. The burning, tingling feeling overwhelmed her. It was as if fire had entered her body and there was a strong vibration feeling that ripped through her. She kept grabbing her right leg as if she couldn’t feel it anymore. I so desperately wanted to console her. I wanted to kneel down by her side and gently rub her head, while telling her that everything was going to be ok. But everything was not ok. It was far from it…
I opened my eyes. Back to reality. I was lying on the living room floor…just like the young girl. I was feeling that burning, tingling feeling…just like the young girl. And I couldn’t feel my right leg…just like the young girl. Then I realize that I was that young girl. I tried to remember what all happened before this event:
- I was babysitting my little sister Autumn.
- I was getting Erica, my junior high friend, something to drink.
- I was talking in the living room with my brother James and Erica.
- James said something funny.
- There was a loud popping noise.
- I saw fire.
My worst fear is that I will die like my mother. I pray to God that he will let me die peacefully. I don’t want to be killed like my mother was. But the weird thing is my mother died by a gun; I almost died by a gun…weird, huh?
I feel as if I am haunted by my mother. I constantly have dreams about my mother’s death. The pain in watching that night unfold over and over again makes this void that I have inside of me bigger and bigger.